When someone else triggers depression and anxiety


Active member
Quite often we can be going about our business and feeling 'not too bad' and then someone else comes along and destroys your moments of tranquillity. This is what's happening right now to my own good self.

I currently live in a Housing Association complex of flats and have done for the last five years. It used to be deemed as Sheltered Accommodation and was the main reason I chose this place to live due to having no family and reaching retirement. I wanted somewhere safe to live.

I've made a lot of new friends and have my flat just the way I want it and for four and a half years there was harmony in the block I live in (4 downstairs and 4 upstairs flats). The lady that lived above me had to move out because the stairs were becoming too much for her as she grew older. It lay empty for 6 months (mainly because the HA decided to change the way things worked previously and changed the Sheltered Accommodation handle to Independent Living) and then the neighbour from hell moved in.

Tranquillity changed into a barrage of banging, crashing, scraping and door slamming; when she is on the phone I can hear every word she says as she shouts (she's not deaf). She also stinks, you can smell her before you see her; the soundproofing in the block is non-existent and I could always hear when the previous tenant was showering - I've heard the shower go twice in the last five months.

We had a wonderful relationship with each other until this monster moved in - she's anti-social, doesn't speak, has no consideration for others and hasn't even had the decency to have carpets fitted. She's been reported twice to our on-site coordinator and she has been told about the noise, but nothing has changed. I'm now keeping a noise diary for two weeks which will be looked at by the coordinator and if necessary moved up a step to the regional manager.

The noise is mainly at night when most normal people begin to settle down; she doesn't have a TV (or so she alludes to) and goes on the rampage. This, of course, creates an atmosphere that generates anxiety and depression and it's beginning to affect my health. If this is not resolved soon I have limited options - I can move (I don't want to and shouldn't have to) or I can retaliate with the noise of my own, but that may affect others in the block (remember soundproofing is non-existent).

Some people just have no thought or consideration for others and just go about doing as they please. It's a good job I'm a tolerant type of person with a long patience thread otherwise, I wouldn't be writing this, I'd be in jail lol.

But it does illustrate how someone else can be the cause of your anxiety and depression.


Thank you so much for this insightful post. Definitely what I needed to read to help me through depression. Things are looking good!